Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bonding

Does God hold us even when we struggle to get away? Does he continue to keep us close and gently talk to us when we won't look him in the eyes? If we turn our back away from him when he is trying to give us milk, will he not turn us back his way to finish feeding us? The answer to all of these questions is,"Yes!" We sing about how God does all these things for us in church...we call it the love of God. It is no different with an adopted child. I have marveled over and over how I am role modeling God and man when I first begin to parent my adopted kids. I remember a time four years ago in Russia. We had only had our 10 year old son a few days and we were in Moscow finishing all the paperwork so we could go home. We had been running all over the city with Denis getting his physical, having official papers stamped, and buying souvenirs for everyone back home. One morning it was time to go to our embassy appointment and I could not find Denis. Finally,I came into the bathroom of our hotel room and found him sitting curled up with his arms around his knees and his head down, crying! I tried to comfort him and he would have none of me. There was a telephone in the bathroom so I called the front desk and asked if they would translate for me so I could understand the problem. I handed Denis the phone and after a few minutes of talking he handed it back. I asked the front desk person what the matter was and she said, "He just wants to know where you are going next." I told her where and she translated to Denis. After that he got up and got ready and came easily with us. I stood there a moment and realized how this boy and I are so much alike. Many times God will take us here and there without our understanding where we are going simply because we do not understand him. We cry and complain and sometimes refuse to go anymore. But when we hear his voice in a language we understand and he reminds us where we are headed then we relax and keep going with him.
So now with this adoption of Baby Meseret I understand that when she will not look me in the eyes or she struggles to get away from me when I rock her, she is having a common human reaction when trust is the issue. She has no idea if this person feeding her will stay or go, be nice or mean. Her random world has taught her well to be careful and to guard herself. So what do I do about this "rejection"? I know if this brokenness is not repaired she will remain broken emotionally always. So I simply do what my heavenly father does for each one of us. I hold her closer when she is struggling to get away until her tears stop. I interact with her on her level until she can look me in the eyes and I will continue to do this until she knows she can trust that I will not leave her or forsake her. She is my baby before I am her mommy...that is the way God made it, just as he is our father before we become his children. He adopted me.
It has been a month and a half since Meseret has been home and her bonding is going great. She still has times that are difficult for her when she does not want to draw near, but she will learn just as I have learned. Trust will continue to increase as time goes on and distrust will decrease because love is safe, even if the world is not!

10 comments:

Jori said...

Oh, you always touch me with your words. I am so in need of hearing His voice in my language. This is a trually hard journey and I KNOW the need to surrender but just can't seem to apply it to my heart.
I am happy to read you are making progress and yet I knew your "mommie heart" would!! :):) You guys are so awesome- I love and miss you all!! The snow picutres are great!!!
love, jori

Yarnsmith said...

So very true. Adoption has opened my eyes to the love that God the Father has for us. I just want the best for Habtamu and Yordanos, and they fight against it sometimes. I KNOW that I do the same to God.

Dietrich & Amy Lusse said...

Thank you....thank you! Please, please write more. I need to read everything you have to say. Thank you for the reminder and showing me the connection between everything and God once again. I bless God for your friendship...I value it greatly.
With love and prayers,
TB

lorismusings said...

It is so exciting when we have a breakthrough with our adopted kids and they have the response we are looking for. Kira has been praying lately thanking God that she has "my very own daddy and mommy". It melts my heart!

I love how you compare our adoption with God and our earthly adoption of children. There are so many parallels. I need to be reminded of that.

I would love to talk to you about stuff! - maybe after Christmas.

Merry Christmas and enjoy this very special time with your family.

Lori

KLT said...

Your beautiful words express hard but wonderful truth. Thank you for sharing your experience and, moreover, for whining the light of our great God's love for so many to see! At one point in our Christmas Eve service, we were led to meditate on why we need the love of Christ in our lives...you live it!

Angela said...

What a beautiful analogy of God's love for His children vs earthly adoption.

May God Bless continue to bless you and your family. I will remember your words..

Dietrich & Amy Lusse said...

Where are the christmas pictures????
Dying here!
xoxox

Thankfulmom said...

Beautiful post my friend. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

Let's talk soon.

Lisa

Dietrich & Amy Lusse said...

Watch out! I'm comin' to get your dog! Oh wait! you already took care of that yourself! hahaha
Still laughing about that airport pic of you!
xoxoxo,
YKW (You Know Who)
By the way, Dietrich didn't get the YKW even when you put what it meant in parentheses!!! LOLOLOL
Are you working on Christmas pics???

Google said...

Well, that's exactly how I feel. How did you do it again, say exactly what I am feeling! I am curled up on the bathroom floor, wanting so badly to be in ET, knowing God doesn't want to take me there yet. What a painful, eye opening journey this is.

Can you please be my translator?

Kim Kulp