As I continue to remember what it takes to bring new children into our family through adoption I look back on a journal entry from 2005...
How is it that God loves us so much that he wants to entrust us with his most precious gift...the heart of a child, and it is only our selfishness and fear that keep us from receiving it. We have a notion that it may be a bother, or worse a difficulty, or we are not qualified, or it is too costly... I am so happy we were not afraid to take this leap of faith in adoption.
Isabelle has been here two years now. The nighttime has always been difficult since we first got her. I am sure that her orphanage at night must have been a very scary place to be. She often is so disturbed that she awakens crying out, "I want Momma!" I go in and comfort her and she goes back to sleep. But tonight as I rocked her we had a little talk about China. I asked her if she remembered China? She said, "Yes!" I asked her, "What do you remember?" Isabelle said, "The cribs!" I said, "What did you feel in those cribs?" She said, "LONELY!!!", and she put her hands up by her face and sobbed and sobbed! (She always kept her hands up by her face when we first got her. Her little hands would bar her face as a safety zone.) My heart broke for this baby of mine. She then cried, "I want my Mommy!" I told her with tears in my eyes that I came as quickly as I could. I also told her for the first time that she came out of a tummy of a beautiful lady in China...her own China Mom! She seemed so happy when I told her this. She knew her sister Abigail had come out of my tummy. I told her that her China Mommy loved her so much, but she could not keep her and she knew God would give her to someone very special and that was us!
I rocked and rocked my baby that night until she fell asleep, safe in her mother's arms. I wondered where all the other little baby girls from her orphanage were just then. And who would help them heal their broken hearts when there is no mother or father to keep them safe and protect them from the terror of night. No one to comfort or explain to them that God loves them so much that he sent his only Son so they could be safe for all eternity? Jesus' words ring in my ears..."When he saw the crowd around him he had compassion on them for they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples,'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest field." Is the church so busy with their "ministries" that they can not see the ripe harvest waiting to be brought in? Will the harvest die before it is reaped? Please Lord, send them!
How is it that God loves us so much that he wants to entrust us with his most precious gift...the heart of a child, and it is only our selfishness and fear that keep us from receiving it. We have a notion that it may be a bother, or worse a difficulty, or we are not qualified, or it is too costly... I am so happy we were not afraid to take this leap of faith in adoption.
Isabelle has been here two years now. The nighttime has always been difficult since we first got her. I am sure that her orphanage at night must have been a very scary place to be. She often is so disturbed that she awakens crying out, "I want Momma!" I go in and comfort her and she goes back to sleep. But tonight as I rocked her we had a little talk about China. I asked her if she remembered China? She said, "Yes!" I asked her, "What do you remember?" Isabelle said, "The cribs!" I said, "What did you feel in those cribs?" She said, "LONELY!!!", and she put her hands up by her face and sobbed and sobbed! (She always kept her hands up by her face when we first got her. Her little hands would bar her face as a safety zone.) My heart broke for this baby of mine. She then cried, "I want my Mommy!" I told her with tears in my eyes that I came as quickly as I could. I also told her for the first time that she came out of a tummy of a beautiful lady in China...her own China Mom! She seemed so happy when I told her this. She knew her sister Abigail had come out of my tummy. I told her that her China Mommy loved her so much, but she could not keep her and she knew God would give her to someone very special and that was us!
I rocked and rocked my baby that night until she fell asleep, safe in her mother's arms. I wondered where all the other little baby girls from her orphanage were just then. And who would help them heal their broken hearts when there is no mother or father to keep them safe and protect them from the terror of night. No one to comfort or explain to them that God loves them so much that he sent his only Son so they could be safe for all eternity? Jesus' words ring in my ears..."When he saw the crowd around him he had compassion on them for they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples,'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest field." Is the church so busy with their "ministries" that they can not see the ripe harvest waiting to be brought in? Will the harvest die before it is reaped? Please Lord, send them!
1 comment:
I came across your blog & I wanted to say how very beautiful & touching it is. I want to follow Jesus fearlessly too. I praise God for you & your testimony.
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